Susan the Suicidal Squirrel

Ok so I'm really but not trying to figure this whole blog thing out... But I wanted to show you this video it's pretty self explanatory... ENJOY! And sorry it's weird... :)

I'm sorry....

Ok Ok Ok...I'm updating my blog after so much abuse. Ok and it's a Saturday and I've got nothing to do anyway. I don't really have anything to write about, no funny stories, no job, I'm just kinda a bum. Let me scrape up a few things that have happened lately...
My friend Kyndra is living with us and it's been a lot of fun! Never a dull moment. She is from a small town and has never seen so many black people in her life. I actually have a theory...I think that people in the country are more likely to die then people in the city...if we do a ratio like one person for the country to like 3,300. I don't know what a fair ratio is...

The first part of January I had no friends so I decided that I really wanted to see High School Musical 3. It was at the cheap theater and honestly I had nothing to do so I called up some of my friends (who are either now married or still in college) little siblings and begged them to come watch it with me. It was good. I picked the iciest day to drive and we had to cross roads and it was a little bit stressful because they are kids and care free and just cross whenever it's convenient for them while I was having a panic attack. It was a pretty good movie and it ended up being a lot of fun!

What else... Yesterday I was just SO crabby at nothing, so I got this sudden erge to just cook because I was bored and thought I was hungry but didn't. What I'm really trying to say was I was PMSie and just couldn't decide on anything so I just wanted to cook. What? Not sure so I sat on the floor opened a cupboard and looked inside and looked at each one of the cans. I saw a pumpkin one which made me think of Pumpkin bars which made me think of Jill's delicious ones...so I called her up and got the recipie and as a bonus her mom is finally out of the hospital and Jill put me on speaker phone and Sharon heard my voice and started to just cry. It was SO cute! She can say my name and not Jill's, but Jill is slowly getting over that fact haha Anyway she is just so cute and I asked her if she remembered the time she told me and Jill of the story of when a random dog was crossing the road and got hit by a car and she was like bawling while telling us this story like 2 years ago and as I was mid telling Sharon this and words just kept coming out even though I should have stopped because A. She just had a stroke so I don't know if she has a very good memory... and B. Thats a really sad story and she'll probably start crying again....I could have KILLED myself! I could tell Jill on the other line was just STEPH YOU IDIOT! But I was screaming that in my head too. Oh well...live and learn.

I was nannying the other day and was wrestling with the boys and stoped and layed on my stomach and was watching Ollie play the Wii for a bit and Lou who is 2 ran and jumped on my back and bit through his lip and it started to bleed everywhere. I freaked for a bit then stopped because I knew he'd freak so just got him some kleenex and tried to keep it there and he didn't want it there for some reason... :) anyway so that was scary...ok I'm just rambling now... I'm really sorry if this one is boring. I live a boring life now!

One more...Sports....I never thought sports would be so much a part of my life. It's weird. Last week on Saturday we played basketball at 8am and won...barely. Thanks to Kyndra....I didn't do a thing! I'm horrible at it, but I really do love it! Anyway then we took a short nap and went and played hockey with a bunch of people from our singles ward and it was SO fun but it was the slowest game I've ever seen in my life. But I honestly just sat back and watched people run into the boards and colide as much as them. It was THE funnies thing ever! Also I was down by our goal and some how ended up with the puck and I thought to myself, YES a break away! If I just skate fast I can make a goal...genius huh? So I'm going and I take like 3 strides and hit a HOLE and eat it. Like diving flat out eat it... I haven't fallen that hard in a LONG time but Kyndra and everyone else there sure did get a good laugh out of it. Later that night we went bowling and I honestly bowled like an eighty. I suck at bowling! But it was really fun! This week we played soccer with professionals last night and Kyndra was trying to teach me tips and I would just play D because lets get real here I don't want to run a lot plus they were SO good! So I would always end up playing goalie and they'd kick it like 237332 MPH at my head and Kyndra was like Steph Get in front of it! I was like HECK NO! That thing is coming WAY too fast! Then today in basketball I kinda get confused with my sports all in one...and I saw this pass that was coming and so I LAYED OUT for it like as if it were a frisbee and knocked this one fragile girl over and their team just GLARED at me! So I felt SO bad! I'm a moron. I can't believe it. If I come up with anymore I'll update you guys... I'll be better I swear!

A new kind of cool...

So I'm human. I try to keep up with my coolness status you know by not admiting I like watching the game show network, having a passion for puzzles, or are afraid of old people. So today I was sitting on the bed and my sisters phone rings and it was my father calling. I figured I should answer it because A. Karen wasn't around and B. they were traveling. So I answered the phone and I reconized an extra bounce in my dads voice like he was thee coolest person on the planet. So I talk to him and he said that he was in Salt Lake safely and on there way to my sisters house. Then he said Steph, guess who was on the plane with us? And I thought...maybe someone in my church or another one of my friends, but being lame and wanting to get back to watching the olympics I decided to just allow him to tell me instead of the guessing game I dreaded so much. He told me "MC Hammer" I got a sudden leap of pride in my father for A. Knowing who in the world that was and B. Knowing who in the world that was. I said cool dad! Did you say hi to him? And he said no I didn't want to bother Stanley. My emotions were like a roller coaster, cool he knew who he was, uncool he didn't say hi, cool that he knew his first name. Then he proceeds to tell me that he and my mom sat next to one of his dancers that has been dancing with him for 9 years. My sense of pride shot up again then he told me this: "Yeah she was a very nice young lady! I gave her a pass along card" Some things never change...

Top Ten Reasons I'm Excited To Go Home!!!!

10. CHOP..need I say more?
9. Family Planning meetings every Sunday...I might buy a new planner just for it!
8. Waking up to my dad singing "Welcome welcome Saturday morning" at 7 AM so we can get a head start on our Saturday chores. Which include mowing the lawn, washing all of the cars by hand, and washing the windows of the house...
7. State fair with Christy and Matt, because they'll eat the dollar huge pickles with me!
6. The Wii...Seeing my mom play something that makes her pretend to do anything remotely sports-ie will be hilarious!
5. The food storage downstairs where I can jack anything I want at any time. Having an option of what to eat will be a miracle in itself.
4. Laughing my head off at myself trying to learn how to play the piano. You know you have a natural talent when it takes you 3 min of hard focused concentration to play 3 notes at the same time.
3. Laying in Karen's California King size bed watching all of the shows I already saw earlier that day again but this time fast forwarding through the commercials! LINGO!!!
2. Getting paid to watch kids by the pool and getting a tan...life's rough
1. Getting to spend time with my family and new baby Graham.

Bowling...

I don't care who you're with bowling is amazing. Although in my time in China for an FHE activity we went bowling. Now you think the Chinese are good at pretty much anything, I was proved wrong. They had NO idea what they were doing. I felt as if they were in America looking at white people everywhere where nothing is familiar. It was SO funny. D all of the above, their technique, form and most of all their ability to THROW the bowling ball so it lands 1/2 down the lane. I think once one went backwards.... I loved it with my whole heart. But for the first place tie of my favorite types of Chinese bowling you have the kind that could hardly lift the dang thing and those that thought it was so weird that they would just laugh and laugh and laugh. It was contagious.

Last night I went bowling for the first time since China. It was extremely different. People were competitive and betting on who could get what from who by how many pins they knocked down. Sure it was fun, but I was getting the socks beat off of me. It did something for my pride...so to all of those who are bad at bowling take a moment and get some Chinese friends that just arrived here, or go to China where you will feel like you could take over the world.

You Know...There really IS something about Mary....Lutz

I have known Mary from my 2nd semester up here. She was nice and little and I could tell there was really just something about her I would love for the rest of my life. Until, one day she came down to visit in just a blanket and later to find she was in her bra and short shorts. I was a naked phobe. That's when I decided I wanted to get away. Until one day she told me that she was taking auto and had taken it at least 3 times from DonDavid. I planned to take auto the very next semester with the same teacher she took it from. BIGGEST blessing ever! Oh Margaret....good times...
Anyway through the years I knew I could always count on Mary to be here at BYUI longer than me. When she'd visit she'd tell stories of her favorite couch in the dean's office, and how when she'd get bored she'd chill there for a while. She'd tell me about the papers she's wrote on the articles her dean gave her to "repent" of her ways...
I think my favorite phase of hers was when she'd bake everything. All the time. She was always baking everything and always cooking.
I think she's one of 8 girls at BYUI that had her own personal sowing machine. I'd go up to her room on the 3rd floor, to only find thread and fabric covering her room.
Mary worked at coldstone for quite some time...I didn't hate it. I didn't really hang out with her much then, but knew her roommates reaped the benefits with tubs of ice cream filling their freezers.
On her off track she goes into the wilderness with small children and try to help them "survive" She's loves it, but I'm not so sure how the children feel about their half naked camp leader..
There are a few things that are contagious about her... Her laugh, her stories (you can't help but think you were there when she tells them), her phases, and most importantly her choice in books...
Heres the story..... For some reason I was drawn this semester to the 2nd floor small bank of computers. I don't know why I liked it up there since it was by the "group study rooms" where people just leave open their doors and it's no more quieter than it is in the Hart main gym on Championship basketball night. Anyway I finally understood one day why I was drawn there when I saw Mary...mouth open staring at the computer with head phones on with her finger in the middle of a book with one hand and the mouse in the other. There was an occasional laugh every once in a while too. I was intrigued. I knew that it would be next to impossible to get her attention...So I decided to get a little closer to see what book she was 1/2 way done with. I read the title, "Family Fun in Montana". I bust up laughing she sees me and turns red. She's watching the latest episode of "The Office" with that book of hers in her other hand as if The Office wouldn't be entertaining enough. She swore if I told anyone I'd be dead...So...I just took my chances. :) Thus we see...There really IS something about Mary... My semesters here at BYUI wouldn't be the same without her. Mary I just love you!!!

The Unfortunate Events of Steph's Life the Last Day in March

I woke up this morning with Jill putting a pillow on top of me to block the light that she was about to turn on.  Some would be mad at this unselfish/selfish act, but I was not.  I took a shower which someone turned on water when I was rinsing my conditioner out, for most Americans this would be no big deal but since the city of Crystal was established in 1750 and haven't changed the pipes since then that means that I have NO water pressure.  So throughout today I've been scratching my head with dried conditioner chunks flying everywhere.  I was in a hurry to work so of course I forgot my jacket and threw on Karen's black Crocs only because I was to lazy or to much in a rush to slip on my tennis shoes, to only find out when turning on the radio that we were supposed to get 10 inches of snow.  I get to the house where I nanny at only to find that the mother worried because the baby hasn't gone number 2 for 2 days.  Just my luck, he pooped in the 5 hours I was there.  Lucky me, what are the odds?  Did it look and smell like he hasn't gone number 2 for 2 days?  Yes.  The day was fine and the baby was adorable other then that one time, but I come outside to find Aretha (My car) (PS I just did spell check for the word Aretha and it came up Urethra...go figure) covered in this so called "moisture" by our local meteorologist.  It was 6 inches already, how did I know 6?  Because my feet were sinking in it, with the white slosh seeping through those blasted holes in the tops of the Crocs. There I was, clearing off 6 inches from my baby onto the ground making it 12 inches on my feet.  I get in the car with wet sock syndrome-frozen wet sock syndrome, driving home battling the right speed for the windshield wipers and snowfall, never winning.  I get home to find about 1/4 of the driveway covered in snow, which 1/4 do you suppose?  The 1/4th that Aretha parks in so I put her in park at the end of the driveway first thing that happens when I get out of the car...HUGE snowflake lands right in my eye instantly burning my eye so I can't see, I try the garage code which doesn't work surprise surprise go in to the house only to hear a "hi" in the most monotone frustrated tone my mom could come up with because the phone has been ringing off the hook.  I go straight to the garage, open it up, shovel snow which is heavier then the bodies at the local morgue.  I come in from shoveling to hear from my mom, "Have you talked to Christy yet today?" No, why?  "She has had the worst day today..."  I'm thinking to myself replaying everything that went wrong today in my head with my eye still bothering me from that gigantic white beast attacking it 10 minutes ago. and she said "Matthew had a root canal so she had to take Henry to class with her and she couldn't find a brush so she brushed her hair with a fork, then went and parked in visitor parking and the guard said, you're visiting?  And she said I am today with my child and he let her through, bless his Utah born heart.  So even though you think you've had a bad day, you haven't unless you've brushed your hair with a fork.  So Christy I say to you, chin up and walk tall you're a daughter of God.